10/06/09

Well i've noticed.
That after everything i've gone through, i had a pretty great weekend .
and that even though you feel a little dirty for going against your parents wishes, sometimes its for the best.
So this kid i like, likes my friend, so does the other kid i like, not to mention also a random stranger likes her too.
why can't i get looks and popularity?
i feel like i ask for too much sometimes but, if they can have that, then why can't i?

F♥R♥I♥E♥N♥D♥S

So you know the show F•R•I•E•N•D•S?
well, i was hoping that when i grow up and move to new york, that me and my group of friends could be close like that.
and you know what?
I think, we've got a shot.

:))

boyfriend.

Well,
as far as what's new in my life.
my latest ex boyfriend hates me.
my oldest ex boyfriend is a total nerd now.
my cutest ex boyfriend won't talk to me.
my most painful ex boyfriend so far, is hitting on other girls; HA! right in front of me.

Frankly,
i think i've had just about enough of this boyfriend crap for today.

I'd like to think...

That i could get what i want,

that i could be who i want to be meanwhile not losing myself.

I'd like to imagine a world in which it wasn't my fault that my parents divorced.

In the fact that i would actually like who i was and am.

That i would feel pretty, get the guys i want.

I'd like to pretend that my happiness isn't cause i'm covering a feeling.

That because of us our mother lives in a less then loving world.

That because i'm real i hurt peoples feelings.

But, maybe that's just why i dont get what i want.

That i have to keep pulling myself out of bed because moments are for those who live it, and its all gods way of teaching.

Growing Pains

Things can change.

Just like people do.

But the reality of the matter, is that people also themselves are different then what they were two years ago. So, is it that your change in self alters others; or that they all seem to change for the worse?

Moments ago i realized that I wanted to escape. I felt like i was kept in a box, one that i couldn't breath without crying in. That i couldn't laugh without getting a slap on the wrist. i know that i wouldn't escape, because even though she's acting ridiculous, i could never leave my mother. She gave me my life. It's only a moment of time, a simple fragment of it. And then she's gone. And to have wasted life like that i must be overly stupid. And frankly, stupid people don't go anywhere in life.

Just know, that whatever i choose to be or live or do in life, i'll do it with my upmost best because i do what i love and i'll love what i do.

Thanks for listening,

Thanks for sharing.

Ramblings.

So, there's this small time frame in life, in which you wonder why on earth everything you do has a reason. Why you should care about anything about yourself, if you aren't the only one, if you somehow COULD make a differenceif you really wanted too. And then another thought might pop up asking why your doubting yourself. For an opinion like mine, i'd like to think that you're not more over doubting yourself but believing and just questioning your next step. For you to be so lost that you have to endure that small time frame, someone must take a pity and start talking to you. And yet, you don't want to nor need to speak to them, for in your mind is the only place you need to be. You can control whatever you think, or imagine, or dream. There, you can make the happiest place and live in it, or the slowest of timeso you can relax in it, or just to pace out your thoughts. Either way, your mind is your control group. It is most powerful, and at the timesvery lonely. The most time you spend thinking the less you spend bonding with your mind. It is wiser than any computer and more trustworthy than Lassie. Sometimes, people don't come across to think what they really need is just a kind word or two to their mindin which they can escape all their inhibibitions, wants, lusts, or sanctums. It is not the necessary need for materialistic objects that bring people to a stability but the power of them in their minds. I say trust it, and listen to it, for it leads to great things. And that my friends, is the key to success.

So,

everyone here has probably seen or heard of the Secret life of the American Teenager?

or juno?

I've come to terms with the fact that teenage pregnancies happen everywhere.

And yet, why do we still want to stop them? Just about every mother loves their child, and agree that it was no accident having them. Abortion is killing your child and should be illegal and downright wrong. Every person has a chance for life, and what right do we have to end theirs? If you had the intercourse then at least have the courage to live with your mistake/miracle. You weren't given a life if He didn't think you were strong enough to live it. A rape baby, a teenage baby, or a poverty baby is still living all the same it should have the chances we all have to live and experience the world. Why should the baby be strong enough to leave the world before its seen it and you can't be strong enough to deal withit. Besides when one door closes; two more open, no matter how shitty the situation.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for sharing.

Peaceout.